You're no different than I am

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/22/ellen-challenges-john-mcc_n_103016.html

I'm not really that interested in American politics at all, and I'm only vaguely familiar with this guy, but he seems like an idiot. Ellen Degeneres is amazing though.

For the link-phobic, it's Ellen questioning John McCain on her upcoming marriage to her long-term partner, whose name escapes me right now. Gay marriage is a big issue in the US I gather.

It bugs me though. He says:

"And I know that we have a respectful disagreement on that issue."

There is nothing, nothing respectful about obstructing someone's rights like that, saying that their love is just not good enough for the state. Fuck off.

I love how Ellen makes it clear that everyone is the same; she gives excellent, eloquent arguments and McCain can't seem to find a word to say in response. But then, bigots aren't known for their ability to actually justify what they're saying.

MPs back 24-week abortion limit

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7409696.stm

THANK YOU BRITAIN. I'm proud of us right now. Well done.

Of course, the abortion law in this country is still a bit archaic (two doctors? Really?) and if it were up to me people would get their filthy little noses out of an individual woman's bodily business, but whatever. It's a start.

There are some absolutely hilarious quotes though on the article. I'd advise reading through it.

Sexual Harassment Is Rubbish

My little sister is 19. She is beautiful and fashionable and friendly. She loves office work and finished a course in it quite recently, picking up an apprenticeship in a local office straight after.

She now has to leave that job. Why? Because she's being harassed by her boss.

I've been trying to make her notice that her boss buying her knickers for her birthday and sending texts saying "I love you" is highly inappropriate, but she's been saying it's just because he's nice. I don't know what's finally flipped the switch, but he's crossed a line somewhere and she's leaving as soon as she can.

Now that he knows she isn't going to pull down her skinny jeans for him, he has completely changed. She should be doing administrative stuff; instead, he has her cleaning the office. He deliberately messes it up again straight after so she has to keep doing it. That's just a textbook case of a slighted man trying to assert his masculinity and put the uppity woman back in her place, isn't it? It makes me SO ANGRY.

Luckily, she's reporting it, not that it'll go anywhere because no one cares. She brought it on herself, they'll say. She gave him the wrong idea. Or he'll say she's lying (though I hope she's kept the texts, in that case). Whatever. If I could, I would be performing some violence in his direction right now. HE should be the one leaving, the one forced to go elsewhere. Not her.

And my family wonder why I'm a feminist...

Disturbing Reading

If you want some deeply emotional reading based on a true story, this graphic novel (available to read online) is the way to go. It's the disturbing story of a girl in Cambodia who unwittingly becomes a man's mistress and suffers the consequences. Very touching.

Honour her body by killing her

The 'honour' killing of Rand Abdel-Qader a short while ago makes me doubt humanity as a whole, it really does. I mean, it's bad enough that a 17-year-old girl was violently murdered by her father for some fleeting conversations with a British soldier, but for the father to then stand up and be proud of what he did is disgusting. The poor girl's mother attempted to help her, but the girl's two brothers just assisted their father in the murder.

(As a side note, to avoid ambiguity, when I talk about men here I'm meaning those who would behave like this or condone such behaviour, not men in general.)

The disrespect shown to this young woman is appalling. How dare she have a teenage crush? How dare she act like any ordinary young person? How dare she disobey the terrifyingly strong patriarchy of her culture?

Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he said, police congratulated him on what he had done. 'They are men and know what honour is,' he said.

Perhaps what the bastard is trying to say here is that honour is pulling apart your daughter's life and throwing it unceremoniously into a grave because you're slightly embarrassed that she was doing something against the rules you put in place. Perhaps honour is just a word, to them, for keeping in line with the harsh system they've built up around them. I suppose they've got to be pretty careful because once women realise how powerful we are, there's no stopping us.

What really got to me, though, was this quote from the father:

People from western countries might be shocked, but our girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.

For a start, 'your' girls are their own person, and us Westerners are our own people too. Quit with the possessive language; it's disturbing and weak. Moreover, though, how can this utter idiot say that a woman should value her family and body when he's just stomped a member of his family to death? How is that respecting her body? What has her body got to do with talking to a British soldier? (Another side note; I bet that soldier is utterly disturbed by this).

One last snippet that made my stomach turn:

Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman.

Yes. Her life.

The Ova Vs. The Sperm

My entire life, I've had this image of the placid little egg laying in wait in the uterus for the mighty sperm to fight their valiant way to find it. I've imagined the little sperm shoving itself into the egg triumphantly, a sign of its strength. I know I have this image because that's what's been fed to me all through school and all through anything I've read about it until now.

Because apparently, it really doesn't happen like that.

The sperm is a weak swimmer and the egg actively draws the sperm closer. The ova is certainly not passive; the link above suggest eagerness if anything. How was I so completely unaware of this?

Yet another example of man's inability to see the world how it really is while they're wrapped up in their bigoted little life. And yes, I know I'm generalising, and no, I don't care right now.

Nothingness Is Better Than Femininity

There is an absolutely fascinating article over at The F-World, one of my favourite feminist websites (mostly because it's UK-focused and therefore more relevant to me). It is an article on that overused issue of fatness, but it made me think, and I like thinking.

I suppose my favourite point, one I had never really thought about, is this:

Each successive feminist wave was followed by a powerful and destructive backlash that put women in ever tighter situations. First we were trapped in society at large, then in our homes and now we are trapped in our bodies. Our focus has become more intense. It now rests sharply on us, on ourselves and on our faults.

That is absolutely true and a wonderful point.

The article also points out that women are supposed to be fatter than men due to the greater number of functions our body does that needs a balance of fat. Therefore, excess fat can be linked to femininity (let's not forget that's basically what breasts are), and the purging of this in eating disorders is purging a big part of womanhood. I'm not saying you have to be fat - or curvy at all - to be a woman, because of course that's ridiculous, but most women have curves and all women are encouraged to lose them.

Maybe by ridding ourselves of fat, we are becoming more like men and therefore more in control. We lose our feminine shapes, our breasts, even our period! I'm lucky enough to never have suffered from a major eating disorder (beyond the teenage freak-out hating of my suddenly curvy body that lead me to wear badly fitting bras for years in denial of my 32FF bra size) but I've seen it in practically every other female in my family. Perhaps eating disorders, as a part of the backlash against feminism, are practically encouraged just as a distraction and a fake way for women to become 'empowered' (I hate that word). I have noticed in the past that a lot of people perceive feminism almost as a denial of femininity; this is a false view, of course, but maybe it makes women feel better to be shapeless and indistinguishable from the background. Nothingness is better than femininity.

I don't think it's much of a coincidence, after all, that I've only started to accept my shape around the same time I've become increasingly interested in feminism.

Men Don't Look At Naked Men

There is this picture: A woman slouched on a chair with men's underwear by her ankles. The insinuation (none too subtle) is that she had been masturbating. The caption says "Men don't want to look at naked men."

There's really not much I can say about this horribly heterosexualist, awful objectification of women.

I'm not going to admit I find it a bit sexy, because that's not the point.

The Hypocrisy of the Media

Over at The F-Word they've linked to an article about Fergie's daughter Beatrice and, basically, how fat she is. She isn't. She's an awesome shape. All curves in the right places. But that, that's not the point. The point is how inarticulate my rage is making me right now as I find, on the same god damn site, this article.

In the Fergie and Beatrice article, they say:

Puberty can be a cruel thing, but there is a time when a young woman must take responsibility for her own thighs and accept that whatever genes you inherit, you can - and probably should - make changes to your lifestyle and diet in an effort to do something about it.

The next moment in the other article, they say:

These super-skinny legs are not attractive, or remotely sexy, but you can rest assured their owners always make sure their pins (and never has a word been so apt) are on display.

It is as if they were saying: "I deny myself every day to obtain legs like these. They prove how committed I am to fame, to being a fashion victim. I have starved and exercised my way to the top - and I am bloody well going to stay here."

I would elaborate, but I think it speaks for itself. Besides, I have to go and hit something. Hard. With a heavy blunt object. I am so, so angry at this. Sure, it's just The Daily Mail which is pure trash, but how are young women supposed to be confident with themselves when people are forcing girls to make themselves thin and simultaneously telling them that thin is bad?

This is a crazy world.

Bitches

There are certain terms in the English language which hold a lot of weight in the feminist sphere of thought, to the point that they are shunned or banned from certain communities or discussions. I'm sure there are plenty that I could focus on, but today I feel like taking a look at how I use the word bitch.

As I'm very much a linguist, the first thing I think about is the word itself. I love the sound of the word. Biting, plosive, satisfying. The etymology is quite interesting; it has been in use for around six hundred years in terms of an insulting term aimed at women. Wiktionary defines it as "a female who is malicious, spiteful, unbearable, intrusive, or obnoxious". So it covers a pretty wide range of characteristics, in general. It also mentions that, by extension, it can be used towards a man but is therefore insulting for its link with femininity - I shall come back to this later.

Yes, bitch has a horrible history. It dehumanises women, brings them to the level of the dog - not just that, but solely the female dog, which is perceived as snappy and unfriendly. This probably stems from the male view that women should be pleasant and nice for them, good and lady-like and never complain about what goes on. Just lie back and take it, dear. Today, I see and hear bitch used to describe basically any women who stand up for themselves and live their own lives without softening themselves for the men around. Powerful women, women who have their own confidence and space and don't strive to be agreeable for the pleasure and comfort of those around her. Which I think is excellent despite the negative connotations.

However, there are some usages that just turn my stomach. The insinuation that to be bitchy is to be a woman, that disagreeableness is a feminine trait - which to an extent it is, but only because men don't need to make themselves nice for people. Men can be just as spiteful as women - it's not a gender specific trait! It's about individual personalities rather than what genitals you're carrying between your legs. I use bitch to describe men as often as I use it to describe women, if not more; but at the moment I'm having to rethink as to whether this is an equality thing or, by feminising the men I insult, I'm being detrimental to the cause.

I suppose I'll just have to keep thinking about it.

I want a pink skirt event or something

I know it's tradition and all, but why is a formal event called 'black tie' when, in general, women don't wear ties at all? Way to focus on the men.

Sexism and Paedophilia is funny

I use StumbleUpon quite regularly when I'm looking to procrastinate. It comes up with some quality websites. However, whilst strolling around recently on it, I came across this webpage that seemed to endorse sexism and paedophilia.

Exhibit A:

















I know. It's awful. Let's belittle the whole issue by saying that only ugly 'bitches' (don't get me started on the usages of that word) care about it. Well, it's true to some extent, though I know there are many, many gorgeous feminists. A lot of 'hot' women are indoctrinated from an early age to believe they are there for the convenience and entertainment of men.

Speaking of early ages, that 'motivational' picture was followed directly by this, for which I have no words:

Woman Driver Makes History

Woman driver makes racing history.

Danica Patrick became the first female winner in IndyCar history after claiming the Indy Japan 300 race at the Twin Ring Motegi racetrack on Sunday.

Awesome. I don't care about racing in the slightest, but I live with two people doing some kind of car-making degree. One of whom is supremely sexist and should have a few things to say about this. Don't worry; he'll come away from the conversation with a bruise.

Not that odd actually

This article says a man was given a suspended sentence for staring at her on the train. It's filed under the 'Oddly Enough' section - which says it all, really - and basically makes out that it's bizarre that anyone could get into trouble for that.

Well, I'm glad he got in trouble for it. If he stared the whole train journey as she claimed, it's inappropriate and probably made her extremely uncomfortable; why would that ever be okay? Why does he think he has the right to stare at her like a pretty object?

It makes me angry that it was in the 'Oddly Enough' section but god, am I pleased he got in trouble for it.

Painting my face

I wonder what people think of make-up when they really consider it. Me, I don't have much of a problem with it. It's not distorting the face; it's colouring it, enhancing it, bringing out what's already there. I love putting on a bit of make-up when I go somewhere that's not just the corner shop. It can also become something of an art-form. I have a friend who does the most amazing eyeshadow, all blended colours and beauty. It's incredible and really draws attention.

However, I'm aware that make-up can become too powerful. It can become a mask to hide behind. My younger sister, just about to turn 19, can't stand to leave the house without it. I remember a couple of months ago I dragged her down to the shop at the bottom of her road to get some snacks and she, at first, refused to go because she hadn't done her make-up. I eventually managed to get her down there without even a touch of mascara. She had her hood pulled forward as far as she could to hide her face, but she was still so impressed that she managed to go out without her mask that she phoned our mother to tell her.

It saddens me, because she's a beautiful young woman. Yes, make-up can be fun. It can bring confidence and that is never a bad thing. However, when it means that a person feels the need to hide what they have naturally every day of the week, even to a corner shop where no one will care, it's destructive and bad.

That is why I'm careful how often I use make-up. I don't want to get into that dangerous trap of thinking my own face isn't good enough for society. Just who am I trying to impress? I walk down the street and expect men to look at me when I'm wearing make-up. I'm not even that interested in men; it's just ingrained in my nature. I don't want that.

The issue of burkhas: An admittance of ignorance

I had a discussion with a friend this morning about burkha-wearing women in Islam. I'll admit, I don't know much about it (and it's not easy for me to admit ignorance). I haven't researched it or read anything much on it, and I certainly have never spoken to a women who wears one, which would theoretically be the most authentic way to get some kind of real view on the issues.

This is an incredibly personal thing to me, since I'm aware of my own cultural bias. I know, however, that it is not possible to take these women out of their context and judge them, or even the men around them. Taking things out of context leads to all manner of badness including xenophobia or racism, perhaps sexism too. I don't want this. I want to understand the issues around it.

My friend stands firm in her belief that it's oppressive and disgusting, which I don't want to prescribe to unless the majority of reliable sources provide me with information to think the same. I know my friend is taking it out of context. It's a habit we have in Western society. To remedy my own bias as much as I can, I am going to order some books on the subject.

If you have any recommendations, please let me know.

Become Divine: An Introduction

I have always been a feminist.

I still remember an exchange with my mother on the way home from junior school one afternoon. She was pondering aloud why all three of us in the family - all female - were staring at the ground as we walked. I piped up that it was probably because women had been oppressed for so long and used to have to be meek and subservient, and we had yet to get out of the habit. I remember being confused when she said that probably wasn't the whole reason. I must have been no older than ten.

It is only recently, however, that I have begun to accept how deep the patriarchy and sexism goes into our society. I watched it with a shallow perspective before; overt sexism, the obvious things, were all I really noticed.

Some interesting articles on blogs and LiveJournal got me thinking, and I started reading around the topic.

Since this is an epic journey for me and I've already come so far in these last few months, I have created this blog to document my journey. It won't be easy. I tend to base all my knowledge of the world in academia, so there will be a lot of reviews of books and ideas I have encountered, but feminism goes deeper than that. I'm also quite interested in the history of feminine ideas and will be investigating those at some point.

Welcome to my journey. I hope the ride is bumpy enough to keep me interested.